“Mary, you need to come home to help Mum with taking care of Dad,” Ephantus said. He was one of Mary’s brothers. The other one was James, who also agreed with Ephantus. It had to be Mary and not their other sister Serah because Serah worked far from home. Their mother, who was also getting old and frail, could no longer take care of their sick father on their own. Ephantus lived nearby too, but it had to be Mary.
Their father’s health was on a steady decline. Moving around had gotten harder for him. They needed to make a few changes to the house.
“We need to install a flush toilet in the house to make it easier for Dad,” Mary told the rest.
“Do we know how much that costs?” Serah asked.
“I can find out,” Mary said.
“Okay, Mary. Please find out and let us know so that we can get it done immediately,” James replied.
“I also think we might need to construct a ramp if things keep going as they are, he might eventually need a wheelchair for easier movement,” Mary suggested.
“The farmhand also needs help in the shamba. I have someone who can start soon,” Ephantus told them.
Two weeks later they all gathered at home. It had been a hectic two weeks. Their father had been in and out of hospitals. He’d undergone several tests until they decided to admit him to the hospital. It was a scary period, and at some point they thought he would die, including him. When he got out of the woods and was discharged, he invited them all to a meeting.
“I’m grateful I am still alive, but I don’t think I can cheat death much longer,” said their father.
“Don’t talk like that, Dad,” Serah told him.
“It is the truth. It is a difficult fact to accept, but that’s the way of life. Now, I have called you here to make my wishes known to you. You know I am a man of tradition because without traditions we would be a lost people. I have two sons and two daughters. If anybody else comes and claims I am their father, they are liars,” he said.
They all laughed. Their father stated the extent of his land, which was where he had built their family home. He then divided the land into two partitions and stated that James would inherit one side and Ephantus would get the other one.
Ephantus got the side with the home, which also implied that, in the absence of his father and mother, the family house belonged to him. The sons were happy with their father’s pronouncement.
“But stay with us a little bit longer,” James told his father.
“I will leave here kicking like one of my bulls,” their father joked.
The matter received no further discussion, but the daughters listened. To their surprise, their father made a full recovery and required minimal caregiving. Mary decided to go back to her house, which Ephantus opposed, but she didn’t stay.
Months went by. The parents needed medicine amid other utilities. There was no agreement on how these things got sorted. Sometimes one person would foot a higher bill than the rest as long as the meds were bought. However, Serah often carried the heavy financial burden. Mary and James pulled their weight too, while Ephantus hardly contributed, as he claimed he had a larger family than the rest of them.
The parents liked the installed flush toilet and suddenly had ideas about home improvement. Ephantus pushed the idea.
“We need to renovate the house,” he told the siblings.
He explained the ideas he had and how much he thought it would take. James supported the idea too. Mary said she needed time, which was a polite no, but they believed her and even asked about how much time she needed.
“Serah, why are you so quiet on the matter?” Ephantus asked her.
“I’m wondering why Mary and I are being involved in this since technically that house belongs to Ephantus. I also don’t see why the house needs renovations,” Serah told them.
It stirred up conflict. Their mother was asked to talk to her daughters. They were accused of not respecting traditions. Once that didn’t blackmail them into helping, they were then accused of jealousy.
“I don’t know about you, Mary, but I have moved heaven and earth for the family. Don’t get me wrong, I did it willingly, but they act like the daughters are expected to make sacrifices, but we’re still on our own. On this one, if they want to renovate the house, Ephantus should do it since it won’t even be a family house anymore. James can help him. I have decided that, going forward, I will take care of only the essentials,” Serah told Mary.
“I moved in to help with Dad. I did it willingly, but I could hear the entitlement in how our brothers asked. Ephantus and his wife could have easily taken up the role since they live closer to Dad. I’m with you. That inheritance story rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t like how traditions only apply when something is needed from us. The inheritance laws have since changed too. Should we tell Dad or Mum?” Mary asked.
“About the law, thinking we have a right to inheritance?” Serah asked.
“Yes. About all of it.”
“You think the man who never fails to tell anyone that he is a man of traditions will change his mind on account of the law?” Serah asked Mary.
“Oh, I see it,” Mary laughed, and then proceeded, “but Ephantus and James may listen.”
“Maybe James, but bringing this up could make Dad feel like we’re questioning his wisdom too,” Serah told her.
“It shouldn’t be this hard to convince your own blood that you’re an equal and deserving child and person just like the boys,” Mary lamented.
“Tell me about it!” Serah said.
“I think we should bring it up,” Mary said firmly.
“Okay, although I don’t think it will make a difference. Dad will not change his mind, and then there’ll be a big battle.”
“Maybe, but even so, maybe the brothers will get it and approach involving us in projects like that house renovation differently,” Mary argued.
“That would definitely be a win, but don’t be so optimistic. This is more likely to start a conflict,” Serah told her.
They brought it up with the family, and they were accused of trying to use the law to neglect traditions. The tension escalated when the daughters refused to contribute to anything that was beyond the scope of physical wellness.
Their father died months later without changing his wishes. Serah and Mary decided to respect his decision.
“I think the tradition is outdated and wrong, but I am not ready to find out if the curse myth about going against the inheritance wishes is true,” Serah told Mary.
“You remember them saying akina Kamande’s family members died because of changing the land’s division after their father died? One of them sold their share, and apparently they were not to sell ancestral land,” Mary narrated.
“I remember. Heh, I don’t want that kind of drama. Plus, we’ll hardly be able to do anything on it in peace,” Serah said.
“True. We’re also fortunate because we were not depending on the inheritance for survival. It’s not the case for every daughter,” Mary added.
“Oh, I’m thankful for that too.”
When the dust settled, things changed in the family. The boys and their mother eventually began to appreciate the daughters’ contribution when they withheld it. They couldn’t change the inheritance division, but they began to show consideration before asking for their input. The girls spent their money on building their own things instead of investing in family things because they also saw that their mother would favour her sons.
They were very clear also about care, that they would not selflessly provide care for their mother with their own money while the boys sat back waiting to inherit what was left when their mother passed away. It caused a rift, but eventually the family came back together.
The mother, realizing she would lose everything if she lost her daughters because they were the ones who used to help her day to day, made sure that she gave her daughters the properties she had in her name to make things fair. The brothers complained but their mother told them they had benefited more from their dad and that they were lucky the sisters did not take them to court. There was an uneasy peace but the family was never that close again.
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