Virginia’s ruracio (dowry payment) was a sore thorn in their family. Her communication with her parents became strained since her father wouldn’t talk to her, and her mother’s calls always entailed the same discussion.
“Tell Isaac to come with his people,” said Virginia’s mother.
“Mother, we don’t have enough money for such processes. He will come when things get better,” Virginia always responded.
“Then stop living with him and wait for him to figure it out first,” Virginia’s mother always responded.
“But you didn’t marry Father when he was financially stable,” Virginia argued.
“Your father is furious at your decision. You need to make it right with him,” she begged Virginia.
Against the wishes of her family, she continued living with Isaac. She had just been posted to a school in a remote area far from her home. Isaac also operated a business in the remote town. He was also miles away from his home. It didn’t take long before they found comfort in each other’s arms.
Isaac wasn’t a man of means. He had told Virginia that he would pay the dowry later on when he was doing better. When Virginia asked about involving his family, he told her he was an orphan. He told Virginia sob stories about how his extended family mistreated him, except for his grandmother, who brought him up. Unfortunately, she passed on, too.
Virginia was in love with Isaac. She wouldn’t let her father’s stubbornness prevent her from living happily with the man. However, she asked that they have a civil wedding even if they would do the traditional steps later. It was cheaper and gave her some surety that he wasn’t wasting her time.
Isaac was hesitant at first but gave in when Virginia insisted. They began their life together. Virginia was fortunate to get a house in the school, and Isaac moved in with her. It relieved the stress of a significant amount of rent and offered them security.
Virginia got pregnant shortly after and had a baby boy. This was when the cracks began to show. When deciding what to name the child, Isaac insisted they name it after Virginia’s father.
“But that’s not how we name children. The firstborn boy is named after his paternal grandfather,” cried Virginia.
“I know, but I don’t mind if we name him after your father. After all, maybe this would appease your father before I pay him an official visit,” Isaac argued.
Against her better judgment, she agreed. Her father was livid when he heard about it. Virginia’s mother travelled to her daughter’s home to visit the newborn child and speak to her daughter. After staying for two days, she left, but not without talking to her daughter.
“I don’t like this man, mami,” said the mother.
“We’re already married and have a child. He promised me he would come to you formally. He’s working on it,” said Virginia.
“You have named your child after your father and know nothing about his family. Something isn’t right here,” said the mother.
“They are dead,” said Virginia.
“All of them? Has he no uncles, aunties, siblings or cousins?” Asked the mother.
“He was an only child and his uncles and aunties treated him poorly as he grew up,” Virginia explained.
Virginia’s mother took pity on her and didn’t pursue the matter further. She urged her to take care of herself and the child and to visit them once the child was older. She then left.
Isaac and Virginia’s relationship may have temporarily withstood the opposition from her family, but the birth of their son came with challenges. Unfortunately, the child was sickly. He had to be taken to the hospital quite often. With Isaac’s financial situation, the burden lay on the salaried Virginia.
The hospital bills began piling up. She took out as many loans as possible and eventually had to borrow from her mother. When the child was hospitalised, sometimes Virginia had to pay Isaac’s fare to the hospital for him to visit his son. They argued a lot.
Sadly, after six months, Virginia and Isaac lost their son. It was devastating. Then came the question of the burial. It was expected that the boy would be buried in his father’s home. Virginia asked Isaac about it. He beat around the bush with unclear answers and excuses, such that eventually, the child was buried at Virginia’s home.
Her father begrudgingly allowed it only as a gesture of empathy for his daughter. Virginia had to send Isaac money so that he could show up for his own son’s funeral. She endured significant shame as she buried her child. After the burial, the father had harsh words for her. She left immediately and went back to work.
Although she continued to live with Isaac, she was on a mission. She needed to uncover what Isaac was hiding. His explanations and actions didn’t make sense. She finally accepted that something wasn’t right. The investigation began with his finances. His business was still operational, but he contributed nothing but occasionally doing some shopping.
She was done asking him questions. She worked on getting a hold of his transaction details. She uncovered that he regularly sent money to a certain number. Further investigations finally revealed that he was always broke because he sent money back to his wife and kids in Busia.
Virginia fainted. When she came to, she called her mother. Despite the shame, she had to talk to her mother. She cried for hours on end. Isaac didn’t take long to confess despite initial denial attempts. He tried convincing her that, although he lied, she was his only wife as he hadn’t legally married the woman in Busia.
It took some time to untangle herself. She applied for a transfer, which was approved a few months later. She moved to another school and cut all ties with Isaac as she tried to figure out how to legally divorce him. The hardest part was mending her relationship with her father and getting past the shame she brought on her family.
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