Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
-Mary J. Oliver
September is suicide prevention month, and September 10th is recognized as World Suicide Prevention Day. Activists take time to raise awareness, spread hope, and work towards meaningful action to support mental health and lower the rates of suicide. They share supportive resources, encourage people to speak openly, thus reducing stigma, and overall hope to reduce the rates of suicide. In recognition of this year’s suicide prevention month, someone on Twitter asked, “Why haven’t you done it?” and people answered.
Here are the most common responses people had for why they haven’t gone through with it. I’ve ordered them based on frequency of appearance.
Family and loved ones
By far the most common reason cited is the pain and suffering it will cause their loved ones. Special mention to moms, who were overwhelmingly named as the one person users were most afraid of hurting. Next was family and loved ones in general, then dads, partners, and siblings.
Moms
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Family and loved ones
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Pets
It should come as no surprise at all that people love their pets. Half the internet is cats. The second most common reason why people had not committed suicide was their pets. Who will take care of your cat? How devastated will your dog be? So they stick around a little longer.
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Fear, pain, and technical difficulties
The third most common reason people gave about why they haven’t committed suicide is best listed as technical difficulties. They are concerned about methods and how successful they will be. The risk of failure and subsequent conditions like disability keep people from attempting. Plus, there’s the fear of pain and the fear of hell. Religious indoctrination and trauma about hell were significant factors.
pain and fear
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It gets better
Hope that it would get better is a deterrent for many people, with some users confirming that it did indeed get better.
hope that it gets better
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Defiance
There’s a small group of people who are staying alive as an act of defiance. They are actively refusing to let the system kill them. One of them expressly refuses to die before the orange man does. Inshallah he lives to see it.
Defiance
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With a light touch
One important reminder from users is, it doesn’t have to be a big reason. It’s enough to postpone your suicide because you’re waiting for the new George .R.R. Martin book to drop or the next season of your favourite series.
With a light touch
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It’s a mix of reasons
For these users, the reasons are many.
The reasons are many
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Conclusion
Life is hard. It is. Here’s hoping it really does get better for many of us. Here’s hoping we work towards creating a world where people don’t long to take themselves out. Viva la revolución.
Here are some resources if you need support:
Thanks to EnableMe for compiling the resources above.
Check out
Dealing With The Loss Of A Loved One By Suicide
Parenting: How To Explain Suicide To Children
How To Comfort Someone Who Has Lost A Loved One To Suicide And Things To Avoid Saying
Mental Health: Why We Need To Decriminalize Suicide Attempts In Kenya
The Bad Voices In Your Head: How To Silence Negative Thoughts Before They Silence Your Potential
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