She was straight out of campus when she met Bill. Wanja didn’t come from wealth, and neither did Bill. Education and hard work were their tools out of poverty. They’d been lucky to attend good public schools on merit, and they were among the lucky ones who found employment shortly after graduating.

The match made sense. They wanted better than what they had grown up with. Not to say they didn’t have fun, but most of their time was spent on work, side quests, and spending whatever was left together. Wanja and Bill had a list of the things they wanted to accomplish.

They exemplified teamwork. After identifying their goals, they pooled their resources together, which hastened their growth. Amongst their friend group, they were the first to buy a car, move to a stand-alone house and fully furnish their home. They were the perfect match.

Then Wanja got a job at an NGO. The new position involved travelling. When you travel a lot, your relationships change. You relate better with people who have similar experiences. Wanja would be gone for weeks at a time, then go back home.

In the weeks away, she was forced to bond with colleagues and other people in those areas. Work felt like an adventure. It was always something different. She enjoyed meeting new people and experiencing new places and their cultures. It’s like she was seeing the world through a different lens.

On the other hand, Bill’s life didn’t change much. He worked remotely. He worked overnight because of the time zone difference. Bill was a creature of habit. It gave him structure. He woke up at the same time almost every day, scheduled his breaks, planned his meals weekly, and left time for socialisation on Saturday afternoons and evenings. Every other moment of his life was mapped out.

It worked for him. This organisation had also been one of the reasons Wanja and he had been able to make tremendous progress in life. Wanja had different feelings about it.

After weeks away, she came back excited to spend time with Bill.

“Let’s go for a staycation. I know a nice hotel that I would like us to try out,” said Wanja.

“How long would we be gone and how much would it cost?” Bill asked.

Wanja was ready with the details.

“What would we be doing at the hotel besides having meals, maybe using the pool and sleeping?” Bill asked.

“It’s a beautiful place with a nice ambience. We’d have fun,” said Wanja.

“How about we go for a meal. We could even go swimming, then come back to our big, comfortable bed? Plus, I don’t feel like the price is justified,” Bill gave a counter suggestion.

This was the first of such conversations. Wanja wanted to let loose a little bit, but Bill couldn’t understand why. She tried suggesting different ideas of things they could do together, but Bill was hesitant. After a while, Wanja stopped inviting him.

He’d learn about some of her escapades from her social posts. At first, he didn’t mind when she did adventurous things while away from work, but he was unhappy when she did such things without him when she was around.

“You’ve changed a lot,” Bill told Wanja.

“You refuse to enjoy life, babe,” replied Wanja.

“I thought you loved how we lived before you got this job,” said Bill.

“We did what we had to do to achieve our goals. We’re no longer fighting for our survival like that. We both have better jobs and can afford to live a little bit more,” Wanja told Bill.

“What’s so wrong with how we were doing it before?” Bill asked her.

At some point, Wanja got tired of having the same conversation. She also felt judged for wanting some fun.

“I feel like I’m losing you,” Bill told her.

“I don’t know how else to explain this, but you’re boring. I want more,” Wanja told him.

They broke up because they couldn’t find a compromise.

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