The first year of Alice and Robert’s marriage wasn’t what they had imagined. Robert’s mother fell ill. The caregiving responsibility fell on them, or rather on Alice. Robert was the only son, and it was expected that Alice would take care of her. Alice didn’t need any of those reasons to take care of Robert’s mum.
It was a no-brainer. Her condition required her to make frequent visits to the hospital. Initially, she shuttled between her upcountry home, but once it became apparent that she needed many hospital visits, she moved in with Alice and Robert.
Both Alice and Robert still had to attend to their jobs, so the newlyweds opted to move to a bigger house that would accommodate Robert’s mum and someone to help around during the day. Alice made sure Robert’s mother had food that complemented her medication, ensured she took her medication and made her comfortable in their home.
As expected, when caring for a sick person, she had hardly any free time for herself. Their home also had guests almost every weekend as other family members visited Robert’s mother. Taking care of her also meant that Robert’s family constantly scrutinised the level of care she was providing.
It wasn’t easy, but she did it wholeheartedly. That was what you did for family. Eventually, Robert’s mother got better and could return home. Even then, Alice went to visit her monthly until she was healed.
Even though they had no need for a large house, they didn’t move after Robert’s mum’s departure. After the tough period, they went back to being just the two of them. It was like a delayed honeymoon phase.
Not so long after, Alice got a call from her mother. Alice’s eldest sister wasn’t feeling well. She was admitted to the hospital in a different town. She stayed in the hospital for about a week as they ran tests. When they got the results, they got a referral to a bigger hospital in the same town as Alice and Robert.
After a long day of trying to find Alice’s sister a hospital bed and an appointment with a specialist, it was too late for her mother to go back home. Alice quickly offered to host her for the night. She texted Robert to inform him of the development. He didn’t respond.
After ensuring the sister was fine, they went home. Alice prepared dinner, and they all ate together as they discussed the sister’s condition. The following day, Robert went to work as Alice and her mother went to the hospital.
When she updated Robert on the hospital’s progress, he also mentioned that he’d appreciate it if her mother didn’t spend the night at their home. It caught Alice by surprise. She didn’t know what to say, but there were bigger fish to fry.
Fortunately, the doctor gave them a way forward early on in the day. Alice’s sister was to have surgery later in the day. Alice’s mother decided to go home and return the following day, since there wasn’t much to be done at the hospital.
Alice also went home in the afternoon since the surgery’s schedule didn’t coincide with visiting hours. She tried to get some work done and prepare dinner as she waited for any updates from the hospital. Robert came home in the evening. Alice had no updates yet.
They had dinner in silence. Finally, Alice’s sister called and informed her that the surgery had gone well. She couldn’t talk long since she was still recuperating. Alice informed her mother. With that out of the way, it was time to deal with Robert.
“What did you mean by my mother wasn’t welcome to spend another night here?” Alice asked Robert.
“According to my customs, I shouldn’t sleep under the same roof with my mother-in-law,” Robert told Alice.
“Where should she have spent the night?” Alice asked, as calmly as possible.
“Probably gotten a hotel room,” said Robert.
“We have two spare rooms in this house, but my mother should have spent the night in a lodging somewhere, as she worried about her sick child?” Alice asked him.
“I don’t make the rules,” said Robert.
Alice remembered the extra measures they took when his mother was sick. Robert quickly pointed out that his family was now Alice’s family, and that she was expected to take care of his people.
“My family isn’t your family?” Alice asked him.
“You know it’s different,” said Robert.
Alice couldn’t understand Robert’s arguments. His remarks filled her with bitterness when she recalled the adjustments she had to make for his mother. She was now worried about her sister’s recovery and the logistics involved. It was clear that she couldn’t have her mother or her sister in her house, but she dreaded having that conversation with them.
Luckily, her sister’s healing journey went better than they expected. She didn’t stay at the hospital for long, and her mother and other relatives visited her, so they travelled back and forth together.
Alice didn’t bring up the issue again, and Robert thought they were okay. He was wrong. That conversation changed their marriage. Alice became indifferent about his family’s affairs. It became a source of strain in their relationship.
Alice’s mother tried to convince her that she could look past the incident, but Alice couldn’t see Robert in the same light. She couldn’t understand why she had to prioritise his family if she didn’t do the same for hers. They eventually parted ways.
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