Hannah walked into her house a few minutes past 8 P.M. The look on Tom, her husband, didn’t come as a surprise. He gave her the stinky eye every time she came back home later than he did. She paid him no mind and went straight to her daughter’s room. She hoped to catch her before she fell asleep.
“Hey, honey. Oh, you’re not yet asleep. Give mummy a big hug. How was your day?”
“It was great. I learned a new swimming style at school,” said Hannah’s daughter.
“Oh, that’s amazing! Will you show me over the weekend?” Hannah asked.
“I get to go swimming on Saturday? You’re the best!” The daughter said.
“All right, now it’s time for bed. Did you say your bedtime prayers yet?”
She hadn’t, so they prayed together.
“Goodnight, baby,” said Hannah as she kissed her forehead.
“Wait, mum. What’s culture?” Asked the daughter.
“Culture? Where did you hear that from?” Hannah asked so that she could get a better context, which would guide her explanation.
“Daddy said in our culture, men get to eat the drumsticks and the gizzards. I really wanted to eat one drumstick for dinner,” said Hannah’s daughter.
“Oh, I’ll explain it tomorrow; someone needs to sleep now because tomorrow is still a school day,” Hannah responded. She was buying herself time to calm down.
She served herself dinner and ate quietly. Tom also ignored her presence and watched the TV at a high volume. Hannah left him and went to bed.
The following morning was a typical morning in their household. The nanny prepared the daughter for school as Hannah prepared for work. As she was leaving, the nanny gave her a list of things that needed replenishing.
“Oh, na caretaker alikuwa anakutafuta. Aliwacha hii karatasi,” said the nanny as she handed Hannah a rent arrears notice.
“Tom, why hasn’t rent been paid for the past three months?” Hannah stormed into their bedroom.
“I told them I would take care of it,” said Tom.
“I am now taking care of most of our daughter’s school needs, the food in this house, and you also want me to pay the rent?” Hannah asked him angrily.
“You also live in this house,” said Tom.
Hannah was stunned by his response. It shouldn’t have surprised her because he’d dropped off the other financial responsibilities on her in a similar manner. She walked out of the house to avoid being late for work.
Later in the day, she called the caretaker, who explained the situation to her. She worked out a deal where she would pay on her next payday, but asked that the caretaker keep pressuring her husband and keep the arrangement a secret.
She hoped that Tom would pay it, but expected the worst. Tom had gradually left many financial responsibilities to her. Yet, he still expected her to serve him as culture demanded. Sometimes he even threw in scriptures to remind her of her duties. Never mind that he wasn’t particularly religious.
By the end of the year, Hannah had also taken on rent as part of her responsibilities. Then came the Christmas holiday. They had always gone to Tom’s family.
“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” Tom asked on December 23rd.
“Tukienda wapi?” Hannah asked.
“What do you mean? Going home for Christmas, of course,” Tom replied.
“Oh, I’m going to my family,” Hannah said.
“It seems you’ve forgotten that married women go to their husbands’ homes. What do you want me to tell my family?” Tom asked.
“I’m sure you can find something to say,” said Hannah as she walked away from him.
Tom tried bringing up the subject a few more times, but Hannah stood her ground. She woke up early the following day, and they left with the daughter. The following day, on Christmas, one of Tom’s sisters called her. She expressed disappointment in them not going, and then concluded with, “Hata tunasema na mum mtu ni bibi kweli. Leo kashopping si kale tumezoea.”
Hannah had promised herself that she would enjoy Christmas without thinking about Tom, but his sister’s call fuelled the anger in her. She confided in her sister.
“Imagine, these people are just like their son and brother. Tom’s mother complained that Tom didn’t go with the kind of shopping I take there. I hadn’t even realised that I was the one who also took care of that,” said Hannah.
“I didn’t know things were that bad between you guys,” said Hannah’s sister.
“He left the entire financial burden to me. I’m paying rent, school fees, buying clothes, food, and I’m even paying and looking for handymen to fix taps and whatnot,” said Hannah.
Before the sister could respond, Hannah’s daughter came in holding something.
“Mummy, grandpa said I could eat the drumstick.”
Later, Hannah told her sister about the incident involving the chicken parts.
“Haiya, the food that you’re buying? Oh, then he remembers what traditions to follow?” Hannah’s sister said.
“Just a selfish man. There are two drumsticks in one chicken. Anyway, I have never bought chicken again in that house after that. I buy my daughter some when I take her out,” said Hannah.
“Where is he taking his money?” Asked the sister.
“I don’t know,” said Hannah.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure yet, but I can’t continue like this,” she replied.
After the holidays, they went back home to an angry Tom. He accused her of trying to humiliate and disrespect him.
“Tom, all you ever talk about is what I should do for you- what is expected of me, what about you? What is expected of you, Tom?” Hannah asked him.
“Women of these days are unlike our mothers,” said Tom.
Hannah looked at him, and the decision was made. She moved out with her daughter the following week.
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