Isn’t it funny how relationships change us? You meet someone when you have your way of doing things; you dress in certain things, have your food and music preferences, and your whole life is set in a certain way. Then, apparently, they want to be in your life, knowing what your preferences are, and once they’re in, they start expressing their preferences.
Some ask you to change. “I prefer my woman in these kinds of clothes.” Other times, you’ll know their preference because of the type of women you’ll find them staring at. It’s one thing when you have some things in common with them, but it’s puzzling when you’re totally different from what they are naturally drawn to.
So you constantly worry that one day your partner will wake up to the search for what he truly wants. You begin to treat everything and everyone like a threat. Jane had been dating Wade for close to a year. She lived in Malindi, and he’d been posted there.
At first, he was supposed to be there for a few weeks, and then he got another offer that meant he would be around for three years. He was the second white man she had dated. They worked in the same industry, so they had a couple of things in common.
Their conversations flowed, and they had fun together. Jane had an adventurous spirit, which made her the perfect guide for Wade in the country. She held his hand as he navigated the country. It didn’t start as anything serious, but eventually they got exclusive.
However, their relationship wasn’t that rosy. Coastal towns have a certain reputation, and there’s a certain dynamic to multiracial relationships. There was an unspoken rule that made it look like dating a white man was equivalent to winning a prize.
Jane saw it in the way women approached Wade when they went out. She’d lost count of how many times she’d find a woman talking to him if she left him ‘unattended’ when they were outside. What was worse was that she saw how Wade enjoyed the attention.
“Babe, they approached me. I didn’t want to be rude,” he’d say whenever she complained.
She’d been exposed to that world enough to know he was lying. When they’d hang out with other white guys in the region, it’s almost as though the women had similar features. Jane also began to notice that Wade preferred it when she had a wig. She hated wigs, but she got one.
A year into dating, Jane’s family had a get-together. She thought it would be nice to invite him to the gathering. In any case, most of her family knew she was dating someone.
The family gathering was a balancing act. Although many of her family members could communicate in English, most preferred speaking in their mother tongue or Kiswahili. She couldn’t ask people not to do it so that Wade would feel included. She shouldn’t have had to.
Nature has a way of sorting such things because Wade found company in some of Jane’s young and middle-aged cousins. They had many things in common, enjoyed similar games, and a camaraderie was formed quickly. For a moment, Jane was at peace, then the thoughts crept in.
Wade hardly noticed that she was busy with other family duties. He was busy chatting with two of her female cousins and one guy. She couldn’t help but notice that one of the cousins was ‘Wade’s type’. When she saw them laughing, she misinterpreted that as flirting.
Jane interrupted them. She called the cousin aside and warned her against flirting with her boyfriend. The cousin was livid but didn’t want to cause a scene, but she didn’t join them again.
After a while, Wade asked after her.
“Where did Lucy disappear to? Is she well?” Wade asked.
“She’s attending to some duties,” said Jane dryly.
Meanwhile, Lucy was so angry that she told her sisters. The mood at the gathering changed. They didn’t have a confrontation, but that incident caused a rift. Many of the family members were on Lucy’s side. However, because families often have unresolved issues, some tried tying the matter to past drama.
Jane went back to Malindi after stirring up family drama. She was also angry at Wade. For the first time, he was innocent. He couldn’t believe Jane would accuse him of flirting with her family members. He had been so excited to meet her family. Wade came from a large, close family, and he missed them dearly. That gathering had filled that hole a bit until the drama ensued.
It also exposed her insecurity, and whether he was doing it to spite her or it was a confirmation that she was right to worry, Wade turned into a serial cheat. He didn’t even hide it, and they eventually broke up. She received no sympathy from her family.
Check out more stories
My Tinder Date In South Africa Turned Out To Be Armed Robbers
The White Man I Matched With On Tinder Turned Out To Be A Watchman
The Singlehood Series: My White Date Left Me With A Huge Airbnb Bill
Comments
No comments yet. Be the first to share your thoughts.