Social media used to be a place where people shared everyday joys and progress, but over the last couple of years, it’s also become a journal for personal bad experiences. One minute you’ll be viewing home inspos and the next you’ll be engrossed in a 15-part story series about someone’s breakup.

These posts, often framed as ‘storytime’, ‘my truth’ or ‘my healing journey’, express different experiences ranging from toxic parents, betrayal from friends, toxic workmates or bosses, and stories about exes. Although most people try to keep the other person’s name out of it, others even share photos, screenshots and audio conversations.

Those sharing such posts claim it’s part of their healing, but these stories often raise the question: when does publicly sharing your negative experiences with others become less about healing and more about revenge?

Why Do People Post About Their Bad Experiences?

Sharing our experiences has become an integral part of our lives. Here are a few reasons why people post their negative experiences on social media

They are seeking validation.

It’s human nature to seek validation from others. When dealing with negative feelings like betrayal, anger, or shame, a ‘like’ or an affirming comment can make a person feel ‘seen’. That attention can make them feel like someone believes them, especially if the bad experience involved gaslighting.

They are reclaiming the narrative.

While facts are objective, how we perceive them makes our ‘truth’ subjective. When people talk about two sides of a story, it’s often people narrating facts from different lenses. When someone posts their version of events, they hope to skew others’ perceptions to match their own. Sometimes it’s in defence when the other party airs their side of the story.

They are seeking community support.

After going through turmoil, finding other people who’ve had a similar experience can be helpful. In some cases, people post their stories hoping to find someone who can help them move past their bad situation.  

Can Posting Your Bad Experience Foster Healing?

Yes, when done with the right mindset of letting out emotions while maintaining ethical boundaries.

In psychology, some argue that catharsis is an important part of the healing process. Expressing our emotions or talking about our traumatic experiences helps us make sense of the event, which is part of the healing journey.

Purging negative feelings can be done through journaling, talking to a trusted person, singing, crying, and other ways. For people who post their experiences on social media, it may feel like a safe place. Given the negative experience is with someone they know, talking to strangers can feel like a safe haven. One could draw similarities with those who pour out their hearts to bartenders or strangers in the bar.

However, this would have to be within the confines of ethical boundaries. This includes keeping the other party’s identity anonymous and telling the narrative without targeting them. The intention shouldn’t be to rally people against the other person.

When Does Sharing Bad Experiences With Other People Become Digital Revenge?

There’s a thin line between sharing a bad experience online as part of your healing journey and seeking digital revenge.

We’ve seen quite a number of people use such posts to capitalise on cancel culture and weaponise it against the other party in their stories. Some people tell their stories hoping to use their audience or go viral, turning the public against a person.

Some argue that they don’t tag or name the other party, but they expose identifiable markers that could easily lead the public to the other person’s identity. In some cases, we’ve seen people post images of themselves with the other person when things were rosy, then caption the photo with negative details about the person.

What Really Happens When You Take Your Story To The Public?

Unlike sharing your experience with your journal, a friend, or a stranger in person, telling your story online can have significant consequences.

Emotional and Mental Consequences

In some cases, people find the validation and support that they were after. Others who’ve had similar experiences or professionals reach out, which is helpful for healing. However, most of the time, the public has divided views on issues. The person posting and the other party in the story get mocked, worsening their emotional and mental state.

Reputation Damage

Unfortunately, people on social media platforms rarely dig deeper into a story before forming a judgment. Based on the story told, users form opinions with inadequate information. Others pick up others’ conclusions on the matter and treat them as fact. A lie retold enough times is enough to damage a person’s reputation. In some cases, it affects their careers and social lives, and its effects may reach those close to them.

Legal Risks

Posting about others while exposing them can quickly turn into a lawsuit. Since the person posting about the negative experience is likely emotionally charged, it’s easy to use inflammatory language or misrepresent the facts, leading to false accusations against the other party. It could be a basis for a defamation case.

Impact on Future Relations

Sometimes sharing a bad experience with someone can be an overreaction to a conflict that you could have resolved. Telling it worsens the situation and may reduce the chances of reconciliation or conflict resolution. It may also signal to others that a conflict with you will end up on social media, affecting your relationships.

 Is It Really Part of Healing?

After bad experiences, healing should bring you peace, enabling you to move on. What goes online is likely to follow you for a lifetime. Years after you have moved on from the experience, the story can resurface. Some people even turn your vulnerable moment into memes.

Further, people post their bad experiences when they are still going through the turmoil. The validation and virtual support can bring temporary relief, but you may also feel regret after the dust settles.

While some people have found sharing their experiences helpful, it’s essential to assess the potential consequences before airing your story.

Also check out

How Social Media And The Internet Can Make You Lose Sight Of Your Inner Voice And Belief System

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