My parents were my blueprint for life. I imagine they had their issues, but most of what I saw growing up was a partnership. They loved each other, helped and built together. I knew that’s the kind of love I wanted when the time came.
Laura was the girl I started dating in my last year on campus after a nasty breakup with the girl I had dated for two and a half years. Laura was a friend before she became my lover, too. She was beautiful, smart and hardworking. The few times we’d been in the same group, we ended up being the only ones who did the group work. I liked spending time with her.
Our first date happened after one of those group meetings when no one else dared to show up. It started raining, so we decided to shelter at a café and have a hot beverage while we worked. The rain took a while to let up, and we had time to have casual conversations after finishing our work.
As we sat there talking like we were old friends, I noticed her differently. Maybe it was the way the café’s light shone on her or the funny story she told with a beautiful smile, but I knew I wanted to take her on an official romantic date. It happened a week later.
That final year of campus was stressful. We had to do a project, and the need for employment was staring us in the face. Laura was my partner in doing both. We spent endless hours helping each other study, complete our projects and apply for jobs. We managed to graduate with upper-class honours.
Laura got an appointment letter shortly before graduating. It was a great opportunity. The starting salary was more than expected, but the real deal-sealer was the kind of learning opportunity her position offered.
It took me a while to get a job. Since we were no longer living in school hostels, we needed to pay rent and other bills. Laura did most of it since she was salaried. It made sense. I relentlessly sent out applications for six months to no avail. During this time, two things happened simultaneously: Laura taught me a lot about the corporate culture in our industry, but I also felt my hope for employment dwindle.
I tried out all the tips I found out there: tailor the CVs to the job description, insert keywords to get noticed by ATS systems, increase the number of applications, and then quickly reduce them to prioritise quality over quantity. It was a draining process.
I was also beginning to feel the awkwardness of relying on Laura. When the job hunt became frustrating, I decided to learn a new skill and create a product I thought would be viable in our industry. I also picked up gigs that paid some bills and helped me execute my idea.
Exactly a year later, I finished my product, and in a random twist of fate, I got a customer for it. It was one of those stories where your work lands in the right hands. Through that customer, I made a lump sum from referral sales. Additionally, I was offered a job that paid a life-changing amount. I was making way more than Laura overnight.
This was supposed to be a blessing, but things quickly turned. With the amount from the product sales and my salary, I was in a position to accelerate my growth, our growth. Our workplaces weren’t too far apart, so we moved closer to the workplace. Next, as every man fantasises, I bought a car.
In my mind, we had a car, but Laura saw it as my car. After I bought it, she changed. She expected me to pay for most of our household expenses because she was saving up for her own car. I wasn’t opposed to her having a car, but there was something off with how she went about it.
“But it’s not a priority right now,” I argued.
“You’re only saying that because you have yours,” Laura replied.
“It’s ours,” I told her for the umpteenth time.
I argued that instead of buying another car, we could focus on an investment that would eventually enable us to buy a second one. Our relationship became one where we kept score of what the other person had bought. From the outside, it looked like we were a great team growing together as our possessions increased, but that was far from the complete picture.
“This is not how I want to act with my partner,” I told Laura.
“Some competition can serve as motivation,” said Laura.
“I don’t want to compete with you. We’re losing out on more growth if we’d work together towards a common goal,” I said.
“You want to outshine me now that you make more money,” said Laura.
“What would I stand to gain?” I asked her.
She turned from someone I could confide in with my dreams and aspirations to someone who felt bad about my wins if she didn’t have similar or bigger wins. The relationship became draining. It was also to explain to people why I had to break up with her, because from the outside it looked like we were a power couple.
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